If you love Letterkenny, you already know that Shoresy is the undisputed king of chirping, trash-talking, and brutally funny insults. Whether he’s roasting opponents on the ice or throwing out hilarious one-liners, Shoresy delivers some of the most unforgettable moments in the show.
Looking for the best Shoresy quotes? Whether you need a caption, a comeback, or just a good laugh, you’re in the right place. Here are the funniest, most iconic Shoresy lines—so grab a Puppers and get ready to laugh your beauty off.
🔥 Funniest Shoresy Quotes That Will Have You Crying Laughing
- “Give yer balls a tug, titf***er!”
- “I’ll body you so hard, your mom’s gonna wish she’d swallowed.”
- “You ever been in a fistfight? Bet you fight like your mom—open-handed and full of tears.”
- “I made your mom so wet, Trudeau had to send in the Army.”
- “Tell your mom I said thanks for breakfast.”
- “You kiss your dad on the lips with that mouth?”
- “I heard your mom’s got two-for-one Tuesdays.”
- “Your mom loves me so much she made me a playlist.”
- “Don’t forget to hydrate after crying yourself to sleep, bud.”
- “I’d chirp ya, but you wouldn’t understand half the words.”
- “I bet you still clap when the plane lands.”
- “You’re softer than a baby’s bottom in a warm bath.”
- “Your hockey skills are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.”
- “Try passing next time instead of being a puck hog, you glory-chasing plug.”
- “What’s the matter, buddy? Skates too tight or just your mom’s grip on your allowance?”
🏒 Shoresy Hockey Quotes That Hit Harder Than a Body Check
- “Your line changes are slower than your grandma in a crosswalk.”
- “Nice dangles—too bad you couldn’t finish, just like your dad.”
- “You skate like a Walmart shopping cart with a busted wheel.”
- “Hope you like the view from the bench, ‘cause that’s where you belong.”
- “You couldn’t hit the net if it was your mom’s open arms.”
- “Your slapshot is about as scary as a pillow fight.”
- “Your stick-handling is smoother than sandpaper.”
- “Ever consider taking up figure skating instead?”
- “You’d be better off playing chess—at least there, your moves would make sense.”
- “You’re slower than dial-up internet in 2003.”
- “My grandma skates faster, and she’s got a walker.”
- “That pass was uglier than your Tinder date.”
- “Your celly was so bad, even the ref cringed.”
- “Play like that again, and even your mom will stop watching.”
- “You miss more shots than a Stormtrooper.”
😂 Shoresy Mom Jokes That Are as Savage as They Get
- “Your mom’s so nice, she packs me a lunch after every visit.”
- “I’d help you up, but your mom likes me on top.”
- “Your mom’s got a loyalty card at my place.”
- “You call her ‘Mom,’ I call her ‘Tuesday.’”
- “Your mom’s so sweet, she leaves me a mint on my pillow.”
- “She said I was her favorite—hope you’re not mad.”
- “She keeps my jersey on her nightstand.”
- “Tell her thanks for the lasagna—best I ever had.”
- “She taught me her special recipe… in bed.”
- “Your mom’s basement has better WiFi than my place.”
- “She gave me her Netflix password—what a saint.”
- “Your mom calls me more than your coach does.”
- “She gave me a ride… in more ways than one.”
- “I’ll send you a postcard next time I’m at her place.”
- “Tell her she left her earrings on my nightstand.”
🎤 Best Shoresy Comebacks for When You Need to Shut Someone Down
- “You bring less to the game than a broken Zamboni.”
- “Your trash talk is weaker than decaf coffee.”
- “You wouldn’t last a period in my skates.”
- “If you had half a brain, you’d be dangerous.”
- “You got a participation trophy and thought you were a star, huh?”
- “My dog has better puck control than you.”
- “You couldn’t win a coin toss if it was rigged.”
- “I’ve seen better hands on a clock.”
- “You play like you just learned what hockey is.”
- “You’d be better off as a cheerleader.”
- “You got cut from house league, didn’t ya?”
- “Your attitude’s as bad as your stats.”
- “You’re more lost than a GPS with no signal.”
- “I’d say ‘nice try,’ but that’d be a lie.”
- “Hope you enjoy that L—there’s more where that came from.”
🔥 Savage Shoresy Quotes That Are Too Brutal to Ignore
- “You’re softer than a warm cupcake.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already toast.”
- “Your confidence is impressive—your skills, not so much.”
- “You bring the same energy as a deflated balloon.”
- “You couldn’t intimidate a kitten.”
- “You got chirped so bad, even your mom flinched.”
- “Your big moment was the warm-up skate.”
- “You bring the same level of effort as a sleepy toddler.”
- “You peaked in peewee hockey.”
- “Hope you’re good at something else, ‘cause hockey ain’t it.”
- “Even the ref feels bad for you.”
- “Your comeback was about as effective as a wet paper towel.”
- “You’re as sharp as a bowling ball.”
- “You couldn’t talk trash with a script in front of you.”
- “This roast is brought to you by your lack of talent.”
💀 Shoresy Insults That Will Leave You Speechless
- “You got more excuses than a bad Tinder date.”
- “Your best move is the one where you sit down and shut up.”
- “That pass was uglier than your haircut.”
- “You play hockey like my grandma—except she scores more.”
- “Your chirps hit softer than a feather pillow.”
- “You make the Gatorade jug look good.”
- “Your gear smells better than your game.”
- “You’ve got the puck-handling skills of a baby giraffe.”
- “Your biggest contribution was warming the bench.”
- “You’re slower than a sloth on NyQuil.”
- “Your highlight reel is just a blooper reel.”
- “You had one job… and still messed it up.”
- “You miss the net more than you miss your ex.”
- “Even your own teammates roast you.”
- “You talk big, but play small.”
🎯 Final Thoughts: Pick Your Favorite Shoresy Quote and Start Chirping
Shoresy isn’t just a hockey player—he’s a legend when it comes to chirping, roasting, and delivering the best one-liners in Letterkenny. Whether you’re looking for a savage comeback, a hilarious mom joke, or just something to make your friends laugh, these Shoresy quotes are guaranteed to deliver.
So, which one’s your favorite? Drop it in a text, use it as a caption, or just keep it in your back pocket for when you need to shut someone down. And remember—give yer balls a tug!
